Miss Sheena's Reflections

It’s 86% dark chocolate. Bittersweet.

I swear this completely random thought popped into my head JUST as I was sitting down at my desk to begin typing this reflection.

Just for the record, Miss Sheena’s (which is how my students address me seeing as there are already 3 other Miss Li-s in Greendale) timetable consists of:
9 Literature periods (Sec 1 and 2 Express)&6 English Language periods. (Sec 3 Express)
“Hmm... 15 periods... not bad,” I hear you t h i n k.
Well, shortly after my duties were explained to me during the induction programme, I learnt one new fact about life: Sometimes, people dump a load of sewage on your head and there is just nothing you can do about it. In fact, it is even legal for them to do so but we all know that Legal does not always equate Just. Anyway, to cut a long (and bitter) rant short, I actually spend 19 periods in class. It’s not much about the extra periods. It was the sneaky, underhanded way in which they were served up to me.

On the upside though, both my CTs were amazingly patient with me. AS a TT, I made my fair share of blunders and they were constantly on the lookout for me, always ready to protect me from the students or my nice but (Hmmm.. how to put this nicely... ) detail-oriented HOD who tends to micro-manage. The TTs at Greendale had little contact with our SCM and frankly, I barely knew what she was assigned to us for. One thing I like about this school is that we are very tough on discipline unlike another infamous school in the vicinity. The kids in Greendale are tough, no doubt, but at least we take action when they act up.

*Point of interest: this school believes in the “Whole School Approach” which basically means that whatever happens in school; the entire school gets involved. For example, every member of the teaching staff was required to be present during the Sec 2 Meet the Parents Session, regardless of whether they were form teachers of a Sec 2 class. TTs were not spared and we were required to go back to school on a Saturday and deployed to baby-sitting the international students whose parents were back in their respective homelands . “Hold on a sec... If it is not possible to meet the parents of the International students, then.. how come they have to be around...?” Yes, it sounds incredulous but this “Whole School Approach” thingy is that extreme.

I only had one very difficult class and boy, were they tough. It’s true that the tail-end Express class is always, ALWAYS worse than the first Normal Academic class. At first, the students did not take me very seriously because Greendale has had so many TTs come in over the 3 short years it has existed, the students immediately size-up a new face and evaluate the “green-ness” of a new teacher. It is unfortunate, but sometimes I had to play the Ah Lian in certain classes just to tame certain wild beasts. On the whole, I tried to incorporate a mix of both Teacher-centred and Student-centred learning. The kids, naturally, did not take well to being taught theory. The upper Secs and the more self-disciplined lower Secs would listen to reason and co-operate when I told them they needed the “background knowledge” to draw upon for “student-centered interactive learning”. However, try telling said difficult class that. They do not listen to reason. I find it difficult to strike a balance between enforcing discipline and doling out praises when they are due. I find that it’s a tricky situation whereby said difficult class would openly tell me that I do not favour them as much as my other classes because I am always strict in their class while schoolmates in other classes tell them that the class atmosphere is a lot more relaxed and enjoyable. They fail to draw the logical link between their actions and my reaction. When I explain it to them, they brush it off. I think this is a case of the “black-listed” syndrome that leads to the self-fulfilled prophecy. This class is also the class that I can never attempt to carry out group-activities with. They learn best by following structure, and they need that totalitarian environment and I find it difficult to reason with them when they ask me why they do not get to do “group work like the other class.”

That’s the bitter. Like I said, it’s 86% dark chocolate. Bite into it for the first time and you will be repulsed. I know you will. I've seen many of you react that way. But if you stick with it for a bit and get used to the bitterness, a rich sweetness starts to emerge when you savour its complexities. I experienced a lot, learnt a lot, and made many new friends. My satisfaction stems largely from the students. When the students demonstrate an understanding of what I teach in class and when they show genuine interest in their work, I am (inwardly) insanely smug about it. I experience that same smugness whenever they do things “for my sake” and nowhere was it more apparent than the day of my second observation. When my supervisor stepped into the class, my normally chatty and laid-back Sec 3s went silent and as a collective whole, turned gleeful eyes and knowing smiles on me. One girl sitting in front whispered to me, “Miss Sheena, is that your teacher?” Uh-oh... Kids these days are good. They know it is not them, but the teacher who is being watched and graded. However, I was extremely touched when they obeyed my every order and were extremely task-focused during the entire duration of the lesson. The only thorn in my side were those knowing smiles they kept shooting at me...